“Your Boobs: There’s Hope” on Lady Clever

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The following is an excerpt from my piece “Your Boobs: There’s Hope” as seen on Lady Clever:

I stand in vague, slightly embarrassed shock. For the first time since I turned 12 and started shopping (entirely needlessly) for bras, I have been complimented on my breasts. “Jenny,” some young girl says, “you have nice boobs.” Another young lady chimes in behind her in agreement. I eek out a sheepish and confused “thanks,” because I don’t ever remember having boobs and, if I currently am the owner of a nice – if not incredibly modestly sized — pair, it has crept up on me like those three ungainly inches I grew over the summer of ’95. In keeping with my inability to take a compliment, I deign to accept her fawning carte blanche. I tell her I never had boobs until maybe recently. “How old are you?” she asks. And then I blow her mind. “Almost thirty,” I say. She yelps in delight. “There’s hope for me yet!”

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