If you, like me, went to a Catholic high school, you might have learned that abstinence was the best way to prevent all that icky stuff that came along with jumping some other undeveloped teenager’s bones. Yes, abstinence was – and is — 100% proven to prevent pregnancy (oops), diseases (ew), and fun (bummer). And no fun is no fun in my book. That’s why the whole abstinence thing was so wholly unrealistic. The only people I knew in high school practicing abstinence were only practicing it accidentally, which means they only accidentally didn’t get Chlamydia their junior year and only accidentally didn’t get pregnant before their 18th birthday. If they could have, they would have (maybe not the STDs and babies, but certainly the sex). Because we all know, once someone opens those pleasure gates, there’s no turning back. We humans are a weak and difficult breed, inevitably destined for hell. Embrace it.