Trending: Coachella 2010

It’s that time of year again, time to see what the “hip” kids are up to.  There’s no better place on earth to see how today’s “counter culture” is acting out against things like health care policies, our country’s participation in wars, how Haiti’s doing after the quake.  Oh, wait.  I forgot there is no counter culture these days, only people who dress like they’re anti-establishment.  Bring on the feathers; I’m a fucking free love hippie!

With that I bring you this year’s Coachella 2010 trends.

1.  The Neo-Hippie

Largely a trend with the female population, these girls went all out trying to embody what it looks like to be part of the “free love” movement.  It doesn’t matter if they don’t know what the whole era was actually about.  What matters is that their suede leather headbands get wrapped around their tousled hair just so and their long jersey dresses drag along the ground just enough to prove, “Hey, man.  I don’t really care about things like dirt.”

On the positive side, this borderline trend in conservative hemlines meant that I saw fewer ass cheeks this Coachella season.

2.  Animal Costumery

There was a certain demographic this year that had perhaps been subconsciously influenced by Miike Snow’s delightful tune “Animal” circa 2009.  Bear witness to my bunny ears!  I’m still an animal.  See me?  In my full-body pony suit?  I’m still, I’m still an animal!

3.  Straw Hat Fedoras

Look at any picture from the fest and it’s like finding Where’s Waldo in the BahamasCasablanca for the summer of our youth.  The look is both dapper and casual.  A perfectly sensible and fashionable way to protect your delicate man-face from the hot Indio sun.

4.  Coachella or Bust!

Maybe it’s due to the extreme glacial pace in which I entered the polo field’s parking lot, both seriously impacting my attitude and observational skills, but I was noticing way more awful enthusiastic Coachella car art.  “Coachella or Bust!” being the phrase of many.  I understand where these people are coming from; when I was on my travel softball team in elementary school, we’d get real geared before a good game.  Tear it Up Turquoise Terrorers!  Hit That Ball, Femme Fetales!

But, hey, who am I to harp on the delight of children grown adults.

5.  The Street Hostess

In effort to serve the really fucking bored people idling away on Jefferson Blvd, I watched two ladies waft from car to car greeting people.  These are the types of people that get up during airplane rides and wander the aisles silently.  The difference is that these ladies take every open window as an opportunity to make casual conversation.

I don’t know if they were really the most popular girls on the block or if they came with a caravan of two hundred cards, but I’m sure these girls contributed to the general maintaining of order on the agonizing drive in with their smiles and cans of soda pop.  Fans of The Whitest Boy Alive can get pretty rowdy.

6.  Not Having Tickets

Despite what I consider to be Coachella’s biggest faux pas to date (trumping even that Jack Johnson headliner accident) in which Goldenvoice decided to no longer sell show dates a la carte, the concert still sold out.  Much to the surprise and chagrin of quite a few Los Angeles friends, long used to waiting until the last minute to score some tickets, many were left grasping for straws.

Were the promoters of Coachella 2010 secretly trying to champion the virtues of responsibility and forethought?  Is planning in advance the new waiting ‘til the last minute?  Is Goldenvoice attempting a stealth mission to reshape the blasé attitude of our hipster youth?  My prediction for next year, assuming Coachella will stick to their one ticket for the whole weekend policy, is that the polo field will be littered with young lads and lasses rocking some serious pastel Izods and Sperry Topsiders (non-ironically).