“Maybe She’s Born With It, Maybe It’s Drug Addiction: A Beauty Guide!” on The Style Con

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The following is an excerpt from my regular column “Maybe She’s Born With It, Maybe It’s Drug Addiction” as seen on The Style Con:

Coke. Zip. Blow. Snow. Gutter glitter. Tardust. Candy cane. Base. Riding the white horse. Petting albino bunny rabbits or whatever you or your grandma calls it — I, as your drug addict’s beauty editor, was admittedly nervous to bring up the topic of cocaine as it pertains to beauty regimes because of our admittedly chic, cosmopolitan and fashionable readership. I understand. Coke has become, for many, a social necessity. Your fabulous life does not allow for boredom or sleep. Your fabulous life also can’t afford you rolling around the city looking like party girl garb. You need me. Just like cocaine.

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Maybe She’s Born With It, Maybe It’s Drug Addiction: A Beauty Guide!

larry_clark_5762_1024x768-1The following is an excerpt from my column “Maybe She’s Born With It, Maybe It’s Drug Addiction: A Beauty Guide!” on The Style Con:

If you, like me, went to a Catholic high school, you might have learned that abstinence was the best way to prevent all that icky stuff that came along with jumping some other undeveloped teenager’s bones. Yes, abstinence was – and is — 100% proven to prevent pregnancy (oops), diseases (ew), and fun (bummer). And no fun is no fun in my book. That’s why the whole abstinence thing was so wholly unrealistic. The only people I knew in high school practicing abstinence were only practicing it accidentally, which means they only accidentally didn’t get Chlamydia their junior year and only accidentally didn’t get pregnant before their 18th birthday. If they could have, they would have (maybe not the STDs and babies, but certainly the sex). Because we all know, once someone opens those pleasure gates, there’s no turning back. We humans are a weak and difficult breed, inevitably destined for hell. Embrace it.

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