This was just too good, people. Enjoy the linguistic styling of my dear friend, Cesar Trujillo. Here is…THE STILETTO BI-ANNUAL
Hello Dear Reader,
I know you have been neglected by my absence. I can explain. I have been recovering from a full body lift, a Brazilian butt plump (You know I have a big back yard with nothing in it), and some extractions and additions we need not discuss. There may be some misspellings as I cannot see the screen clearly because of my leaking tear ducts. I was just sitting here minding everyone’s business and watching the Oscars whilst barely wearing a tulle jumpsuit with a sprinkling of Swarovski somethings in strategic locations….
Here are just a couple of observations from my chaise.
A lot of bizo’s missed the recession memo. There were many a statement necklace around. I am starting a petition encouraging Carolina Herrera to stop making clothes. She just threw Amy Adams in a tomato soup bath and drew a grid on her tits.
Kate Winslet was beautiful. I was loving the bee catcher netting on her gown. Natalie Portman got her Rodarte at Cache in the Glendale Galleria during their annual Persian clearance sale. SJP looked great. She was looking very haggard/equine recently. I didn’t feel the need to give her a feed bag. It was so lovely for Nikki Kidman to take time out of her busy schedule of rolling around with the chickens to come the show. I just wished she would have changed before she left the house.
I love that Miley is recycling. She managed to save all of the tripe from her last barbecue to make her own dress. My heart goes out to Beouwulf. She had to wear that dress from The House of D-rrrhea-n. I know what it is like to have an overbearing transsexual momma running yo shiz. Poor Jesse Biel. It appears that her left breast caught elephantitis. Miuccia did an amazing job of making her look very Michelinesque.
I think it is about time I tape my eyes shut (very necessary after an extreme eye job) and go to bed.
I hope to write to you before my next procedure.
— Penelope Anne Chinchilla Capodemonte Salome Lavetra Cinay Smith
PS – I saw John Legend buying a dress for some Hoe at Prada on Saturday. Confucius says what? He was with a completely different hoe at the Oscars. Everyone needs an SBSD (Single Black Sugar Daddy), but you hope yours doesn’t mess around on you.